I'm Not Dead Yet

Been kinda quiet around here. I wouldn’t blame folks for thinking that I’d joined my brothers. As an actual writer once said, the rumors of my Demise were somewhat exaggerated.  The truth is a tangled wind knot of attitude, pain, disability, and rules.

Rule #1 around here has always been, “This is a no-whining zone.” 

Thus, the silence. Or lack of writing. I’ve been stuck in a rut of pain, spinning my wheels in the mud, wallowing up to the axles in self pity. The pain kept getting worse and the pity got deeper. Shields up, red alert, engage cloaking device!

Recently though, a couple of friends managed to crack the dome and convince me there were people that actually found value in my stories. And, there’s finally a plan that might help the pain.

 

• In 2019, my right shoulder started going bad. By the end of the year, I was getting steroid injections every 3 months to cover the pain.
• By early 2020, I was typing with only my left hand. Even for work.
• In August 2020, I had surgery on the right shoulder to reattach a displaced tendon and clean out the arthritic joint. This was supposed to provide a measure of pain relief.
• Parkinson’s Disease reacted badly to the surgery, and the pain levels escalated.
• Toward end of October 2020, I was hospitalized to get the pain and muscle spasms under control. At this point, I was medically restricted from working. Disabled, so to speak.

Between the shoulder pain, other Parkinson’s Disease (PD) issues, and a global virus pandemic, my attitude and physical activity dropped. I lost 50 pounds. I’ve also lost muscle mass, balance, memory, mental acuity, and fragments of sanity.

There were some bright spots, though. I managed a few short walks with a fly rod, now almost always accompanied by Mrs. Fading Angler. I love fishing with her anyway, but we were both terrified I might fall. More on this later.

Enough finally became enough. A radiologist was looking at a live x-ray image while injecting my shoulder last year and asked, “Are you planning on getting this shoulder replaced anytime soon?”

“No,” I replied. “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?”

“There’s basically nothing left in that joint.”

Well, that certainly explains the limited range of motion, popping, and pain in the ol’ right shoulder. After consulting about 8 different doctors, here’s the plan:

• Intramuscular Botox injections (for muscle spasm and Parkinson’s rigidity) and a steroid injection (for pain) in early March. Done.
• Surgery to implant a pump that pushes anti-spasm medication directly into my spinal cord in late March 2023. Done, still adjusting.
  
  
  
  
  
• Another round of Botox and steroid shots in June 2023 to get me through the summer.
• Total Shoulder Replacement surgery scheduled for September 28, 2023.

The hope is that replacing the shoulder will rid me of one source of nearly constant pain. There’s that word again.

Let’s see… 

• wires pushed deep into my brain, sending out tiny electrical pulses controlled by a computer implanted in my chest.
• a pump about the size of hockey puck implanted below my right rib cage, dribbling medication into my spinal cord.
• An artificial shoulder.

I think I’m nearly ready for my own red lightsaber…