Lost in Southern New York

The best laid plans often don't make it past step 2... So I find myself with a day to wander alone in a strange land, looking for water to fish and hopefully not get a violation from a New York State conservation officer.  (I was narrowly alerted that the water I wanted to fish is closed for spawning!)

Thank you Parkinson's Disease for the extra special gift called anxiety.  I've never been much of a solo explorer, but this is ridiculous.  Then I hear Ralph's pep talk from a couple of posts ago... Not today, Parkinson's.  Time to take a pill and find a fly shop.  Today will be good, right?

Tomorrow will be better.

Addendum, 8 hours later: I found a couple of spots to try on the East Branch of the Delaware River.  As I was gearing up gentleman who says he guides the river around those parts stopped.  He said that if the wind hadn't been blowing 15-20, there should've been a heavy hatch and lots of rising heads.

Instead, I waded out, tossed a streamer then some nymphs for a while. It was 38F, blowing, cloudy.  I waded back out when my hands hurt and my... well, some of my other pieces, were well chilled.  My casting was terrible and I could hear a few fish laughing at me.

Great day.

Wanna go fishing, Mike?

From CBS's The Good Wife

Yesterday, Mrs. FA was watching some episodes from the final season of The Good Wife.  I've been a fan of Juliana Margulies since E.R. back in college, and the team that picks her wardrobe for The Good Wife does amazing work.  Anyway, some of my favorite episodes featured Micheal J. Fox, undoubtedly the face of Parkinson's Disease today.  Mr. Fox's character, Louis Canning, is somewhat manipulative, using his disability by putting it on display.  I find it hilarious.  (But what's up with the sweaters, Louis?)  Some of his movement patterns looked familiar, because I've developed a few of them over the past 12 months.  I was fascinated to notice that this didn't scare me.  I instead found it comforting to see some of my exact movement patterns reflected in somebody else.

Also from CBS's The Good Wife

Mr. Canning intentionally overplayed some difficulty with his walking canes to drum up sympathy and influence the judge in a courtroom scene. One thing I don't use yet is a walking cane, but one of the louder Little Voices® came up with this line:  "That might not be very far away.  Grab thy (wading) staff and thy (fly) rod, and journey to a trout river Friday, while you can still drive and hike." Sounds like fear taking.  It also sounds like I'm overthinking things as usual.  Not today.

I'd love to go fishing with Micheal J. Fox one weekend.  It would be interesting to spend some time with a high-energy guy who's got a ten-year head start on me with young-onset Parkinson's Disease.  How did he handle his early fear and what does he fear now?  Would it be an opportunity to face my fear, in the style of the Bene Gesserit sisterhood from Frank Herbert's Dune?

    "I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

If Mr. Fox ever wanted to go fishing, I know exactly the place and exactly the guide for a great day (or half-day) of fishing from a drift boat, no hiking necessary.  But, I'm sure the accomplished actor and advocate has better ways to spend his time.  Luckily, my second choice is available, author R. E. Long of Ralph's Fly Box (though I'm sure he also has much better ways to spend his time.)  And I think he meets all of the required criteria.  We meet up in Central PA in ten days to drink some coffee & annoy some trout.  With luck, maybe we'll get a little extra dopamine for our efforts.

Meanwhile, if I can just get over this little bout of exploration anxiety, I hope to be headed to the North Shore of Lake Superior Friday morning.  I need to get out of my head for a while and let the Little Voices talks amongst themselves.

"Only I will remain."  Unless MJF calls...

;)

Spiders and Quicksand

(Just a parenthetical advisory/warning:  I'm deviating from my usual theme of "positive outlet" today, but I will still attempt to comply with the "No Whining" prime directive.  Today's truth is that I'm confused, not thinking very clearly, and writing for therapy.  Feel free to join me on the shrink's couch and stare at the office ceiling as I mumble to myself and engage in a town hall debate with The Little Voices®.  It's not pretty, but it's honest.)

The 2000 movie "The Replacements" is one of my favorites.  The plot is inspired  by the NFL players strike in 1987, where most NFL teams brought in replacement players to finish out the schedule.  It's a comedy, mostly cheesy, but full of great quotable moments, not all of which are necessarily comedic.  Please take a couple of minutes to view the following clip of the movie from YouTube.

I think I've been avoiding my fear.  I am afraid of the day when I can no longer visit a cold, clear trout creek, cast a fly line, and watch a small trout disturb the surface to pursue the drifting fly.  A couple of years ago, I started fishing again.  I don't go after it "like there's no tomorrow."  Perhaps its more like I probably have tomorrow and next week, but I might not have next year.  This felt good.  It's a positive approach.  "I'm going to fish whenever I can go, within reason, because my time might be limited."  It felt like a positive and constructive way of dealing with a difficult situation.  I'm beginning to wonder if it wasn't just an easy way of burying fear, procrastinating the eventual moment when I'll actually need to face it and deal with it.  I'm no psychologist, but I'd bet this is "a thing." Avoidance, mental misdirection, refusal to deal with the real issue?

Four Months with my Swift Epic 686, plus Backstory

Introduction

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for August, 2015.  There were two historically significant events at this temporal nexus:

1. The Fading Angler spends a day with a guide in southern Minnesota's Driftless Area.  Guide Dan brings along a 4 weight TFO Finesse rod that seems to mesh better with my casting "skills" than the stiff 7-foot Sage Approach 3-weight I brought along.
2. The Fading Angler gets a chance to test-cast the brand-spanking new Sage MOD at Headhunters Fly Shop in Craig, MT.  The MOD is Sage's "moderate action" rod, sitting somewhere between the actions of the fast ONE and "advanced slow-action" CIRCA models.  Very quickly, something amazing happens:  I am able to shoot line at the conclusion of forward casting strokes.  I'd never been able to do this before.

This was chronicled in more detail here on the blog last year: Fly Angler: Headhunter or Head Case?

Being a scientist (at least in my own head), I immediately implemented a new top-secret operation and intelligence protocol:

Fading Angler's Cientific Exploration Purporting to Learn Actual Nowlegde and Truth, better known by the codename FACEPLANT.

(You might want to grab a coffee, Diet Mountain Dew, pint of beer, or a double bourbon before continuing. Oh, and a grain of salt.  Bring the shaker...)

If You've Never Heard of Bull Trout...

I'd never heard of Bull Trout until I moved to Montana in 1998.  Then as now, they are a Threatened (not quite qualifying for "Endangered") species that cannot be targeted by anglers, except for one river and lake in  NW Montana and only if you have the correct paperwork.  They are a char, more closely related to brook trout and dolly varden than cutthroats (who share their native waters) or rainbow trout.

They are aggressive predators.  I've seen one, on the Blackfoot River.  It was over 30" long and seriously considering snacking on a 14" cutthroat that I'd foul-hooked.  Fascinating beasties. John Arnold of Headhunters Fly Shop and Scumliner Media fame recently published this gem in cooperation with another photographer/producer, Pat Clayton of Fish Eye Guy Photography.


Notice the deep turquoise hue of the water in some of those shots?  I love that color!

Hats off to John and Pat. Very cool collaboration.

MN Mountain Man: A Trout Hunting Machine

It was a great stroke of luck that I found the Driftless Trout Anglers forums earlier this year.  One of the regulars there is a guy with ties to Montana: MN Mountain Man, aka Clayton.  He moved from the Kalispell/Whitefish area and now pounds the banks of the Driftless Area's cold water creeks.  He runs a couple of blogs/sites:

• MN Driftless Fly Fishing -Fish Tales
• Whitewater Valley Flies - Hand built rods and hand tied flies for sale

 After exchanging messages over the summer, we were finally able to sync schedules and meet up for some angling the Saturday of Labor Day Weekend.  We met early and I followed him to a stretch of water he'd gotten permission to access.

As we geared up, it was impossible not to notice that he's ready to fish at a moment's notice. No waders, no boots, no vest.  He swapped shoes, grabbed a rod, and maybe had a small sling pack for his tackle.  Lean, mean, optimized, and ready to go.  Then there's me... classic hare and tortoise.

He's also a very focused angler.  He moves efficiently upstream, methodically working the water.  He says that most days, he fishes deep.  I don't think he changed flies at all during our morning trek upstream.  And why should he when fish after fish take what he's selling?

This man is zeroed-in on catching fish, and knows how to bring in the big ones.  Take this one for example:

This was one of the fattest fish I've ever seen.  I could just barely get my hands all the way around the back and belly.  If you look at photos on his blog, this looks like a normal everyday ho-hum fish for him.  It's a good thing he lives close to a collection of great trout streams, because he's got a stressful job.  To blow off steam, he hits the water often, ties flies, and builds custom rods.

It was a great opportunity to fish with Clayton.  He didn't laugh at me when I made one of my signature Parkinson's Moves (falling down the bank) and wasn't in a hurry.  Like fishing with Eddie, I had the opportunity to learn some great stuff just watching him fish.  In fact, I used some of his techniques to extract a few browns from a tough spot the next day.  Thanks, Clayton!

Great morning with great weather.  Great angler and great company.  I hope we can do it again soon, and not just for the obvious reason:

Bigfoot Found! Nessy Exists! Howard Smiles!

Next, I hope to flirt with the Tooth Fairy, ride a unicorn, and fish a 5-weight flyrod rolled from quantum-aligned pure unobtainium nanotube matrix (with stripping guides made from dilithium crystals.)

Beauty and The Beast
(click to enlarge, if you dare)

I think I like posing for photos with Howard.  I look AT LEAST twenty years younger than I normally do.

Just in case you missed the report on our Saturday fishing adventure in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, go back and read about it!

(oh, yeah... Howard also has his own version of the story.)